Existence

Existence of...something, upon the brink of what a man believes. Standing there to stare into the void. Desiring so intensely to see a face that the eye may play tricks. Questions of whether anything really means anything, or if being alone means total isolation. Is he at peace with his own concept of death? Or does he feel the same ache to grapple with the unknown.

Contemplating purely singular existence is like staring into the sun, one cannot behold it directly without being harmed. A mind could go mad trying to balance notions of nothingness and an infinite being, just as the sense of injustice cannot be satisfied by any worldly means - ideas that can be considered but not grasped.

If the concept of God factors down to imagined kinship for our existential comfort, it remains wholly worthwhile. Pared down to the essential core, God could be proxy for our relationship with the idea of life's value, it spares us the madness of being unable to *know*. And if God exists, why not with benevolence? Maybe grant wishes? Better yet: control our destinies; control our world.

I've long believed in a concept of God that was necessary, not desireable; believed out of need, not want -- that seems more real, doesn't it? Such a being, by definition, would reside beyond my stunted perception so I could take comfort that something was out there.

I don't know if a sane mind could accept death if it meant blacking out and ceasing to exist. Balancing extremes is what a healthy brain does best, so nothing is so impossible if it keeps the feet planted while standing at the edge of the void.